Keep Going 087: Okay Is Okay

Brought to you by Hostess Ding Dong birthday cakes.

Apr 14, 2025

👋🏽 Hello, everyone!

They’ve turned on the splash pad in the park across the street, which feels symbolic, like the first day you see pumpkins at the supermarket. It’s summery without being summer, which is kind of the best. It’s warm enough to wear a sundress, but not so hot that you can’t enjoy a nice walk to the ice cream shop. Soon it will be Summer, but this year we have a swimming pool and shady patio and a splash pad, so for the first time in a long time, I’m not too worried about it.

Life has been sort of like the weather - balmy, nice, breezy, lovely. I find myself feeling like something is missing, like I’m forgetting to do something. My therapist said, “well, you’re really good at being Not Okay. We just have to work on learning to be Okay.” How strange and amazing is that?! I’ve fought depression and anxiety for decades, and when I come to a point where my mind feels balanced and life feels good, I’m peeking around the corner waiting for Stress to pop up. But what if it doesn’t? What if I’m Okay, and I’ll continue to be Okay? It brings to mind a quote from Eckhart Tolle:

This is why, for so many people, a large part of their sense of self is intimately connected with their problems. Once this has happened, the last thing they want is to become free of them; that would mean loss of self. There can be a great deal of unconscious ego investment in pain and suffering.

Goodbye, ego. Have a nice trip!

🍓 Eating

Cold brew with a splash of soy creamer, whole wheat toast with peanut butter and local strawberries, and a really good book
Vegan spice cake soft serve affogato at Bottega
Our new fave - chopped salad (kale, arugula, mint, cilantro, celery leaves, grains, cauliflower rice, pistachios, parmesan, tofu) with Cultured Carrot dressing
Korean snacks from a giant birthday snack package from some lovely friends
Weekly brunch date overlooking the farmers market
Frequent takeout from Oseyo (kimchi jjigae, bibimbap, japchae, tteokboki, banchan)

📚 Reading

The Luminous Solution - I’m not sure I would have finished it if it weren’t for the author’s lovely Australian lilt, but I loved the audio book. “Art declares that we contain multitudes, that more than one thing can be true at once. And it gives us a breathing space, in which we can listen more than talk, where we can attentively question our own beliefs.”
Orbital - This is one of those plot-less books that happens to take place in space, and is full of bright people just thinking about deep things. “The planet is shaped by the sheer amazing force of human want, which has changed everything, the forests, the poles, the reservoirs, the glaciers, the rivers, the seas, the mountains, the coastlines, the skies, a planet contoured and landscaped by want.”
The Power of Now - I’ve tried reading this before, but for some reason this time, I was ready for it. I am beside myself with the possibility of Now. “Power over others is weakness disguised as strength.”
Money for Couples - This was both validating (we already communicate really well about money and life) and enlightening (really fun to dream up our nontraditional “rich life!”). “It’s a tragedy to live a smaller life than you have to. And it’s disingenuous, too.”
A Psalm for the Wild Built and A Prayer for the Crown Shy - These books just crawled into my heart and opened up something full of light. They’re gentle, smart, and hopeful. “You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to exist in the world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live. That is all most animals do.”
The Patient - Random, creepy psycho-thriller that totally freaked me out. “You don’t point out reality to people who have delusions. It doesn’t help, and they just get angry.”
100 Ways to Change Your Life - A quick read that really inspired me until it somehow became a long list of “ways you’re doing life wrong.” Self-help overload, I guess! “The second that something designed to make your life better starts to stress you out or limit you, it’s no longer healthy for you—and that’s okay.”